I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
