Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
