ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I could make wine with my vomit
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize