a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i barfeds in our rink
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
