Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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