dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize