yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i think my tv is drunk
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
