I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
