Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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