Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
