If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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