I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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