She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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