it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
