the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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