I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
