I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
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dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize