we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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