hotel room ftw
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
