dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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