bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
