Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
