my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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