Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
