things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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