I will die if light touches me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
