I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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