I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
