? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm jealous of your bromance
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
