how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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