i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
