my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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