I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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