so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
