I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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