is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
