operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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