I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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