My hand turned me down
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize