somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
