he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
