Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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