I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
