You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Randomize
