Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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