hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
