I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
FUCK WHALES
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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