I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize