Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
