Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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