oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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