apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
