Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
